My situation is mine, cause I CAN handle it!

Life has a way of handing us the things that we can handle..but what it doesn't come with is the details of why they come..we find all that out with every step we take in the direction we take. We can't guarantee any prediction we make of the future. I can tell you that the impressions we receive aren't always for our own benefit. But there are times life comes along and we have to take time to care about ourselves,  we have to take time to fix what is broken. I am learning somethin valuable lately and it has caused me to take a second look at myself when they say you can fake it til you make it...it's not always the case in life. We have to study it out, we have to trust in what is.
My little ray of sunshine has taught me how grateful I am for the situation  I am in and this gratitude isn't just by walking up every morning with a thankful heart...it has gone much deeper then that. It has taught me that having to check my blood sugar levels four times a day is a lot better then having a baby in the hospital, a lot better then having my little girl taken from me, it has made me to appreciate that as hard as it is to not share every experience with a man...that I am grateful that I will be the one who gets to experience all her firsts, I will be the one working one on one with God of how to be thee very best mother...how to be the kind that takes care of myself and still makes my little angel the number one priority she was born to be... I know that people have seen since day one what a great mother I'd one day be...but u know I never knew that existed cause fear kept me going. It's kept me believing in things moving forward until recently with utter prayer of pleading that God would teach me how to be patient with myself, how he would teach me how to allow my confidence in me to shine..and not just what people believe to be. Through all of these different experiences thru my pregnancy...my favorite thing of it all has been learning about the growth she is going thru to get here to be with me...that her little heart is the size of a quarter, her little hands go into the shape of an 'I love you' sign just reminding me of how she knows the little things her uncle's/great great grandparents do...how her little body has hiccups, and how voices she has never heard won't be her reason of listening and the ones she is aware of that she will still continue to do her thing. I love that nothing about her is made up by how people want her to be...that she holds herself strong, and I see that by the way she holds a hand close to her heart and the other always by her face with her little legs crossed and being a little lady. How can you be any more excited then simply knowing that your own daughter is smart, beautiful and her own person.